Stumped

I know I haven’t written in so long and I’m always telling myself to do so, but it’s been pretty damn hard to lately.  Everything that crosses my thoughts lately is very negative and I am not looking for any sympathy/empathy from anyone.  Plus, I don’t want it to come across as whiny.  Lately, I’ve been lacking in motivation for practically everything in my life.  I haven’t worked out (other than Body Jam or Body Combat…..and a couple of times at Mi Ki Do) and it bugs me.  I miss it and I can’t put myself to do anything.  I’ve forgotten about a lot of things that I was supposed to be attending or doing…….and I NEVER forget those sort of things.  It’s humiliating each time this happens.  I was even 3 hours late to my part-time job one day.  And I’ve been trying so hard not to ruin the only job I have.  I keep putting off writing my personal statement for a Doctorate program, my job searches seem pointless, and well, I could go on but won’t because it defeats my earlier statement.  Until my brain collects itself again, I will continue to write with updates and whenever motivation kicks my ass into gear.

For those following my Body Jam journey:  I have completed my video, but will be re-taping this upcoming week.  I made minor mistakes during the first attempt that I feel can use cleaning up before sending one for evaluation.  I have saved enough for my assessment and once I pick the best video, will definitely be shipping it out.  Even though I have not sent my video in yet, I have acquired two definite classes.  I am teaching Monday nights at the Arlington YMCA and Saturday afternoons at Gold’s Gym.  I am definitely excited to start those up and I hope that it helps me get out of this little fog.